The Value of Saying THANK YOU

 

How often we get caught up in life, the duties of day to day and forget to stop and take notice of what is going on around us. Or should I say WHO is around us.

I’m a big advocate for Gratitude, which is likely to be a common theme in my writing. Lately though I’ve been thinking a lot more about people, and how we can take our loved ones for granted so easily.

This could be our partner, our children, our parents, or our dearest friends… everyone in our life.

Our partner is always there. We both have responsibilities to keep the house running, work, cleaning, looking after kids and/or pets; that so often we forget to stop and SEE each other, connect to each other, appreciate and value each other.

We can get tired from all the “Have To Do’s”, pissed off with him for not picking up his goddamn undies off the floor and putting them in the basket, or her leaving makeup in the bathroom sink.

In my experience this is where resentment builds. It takes over and before long more of the little things they do that annoy you become your focus and they can’t do anything right.

But what if we took the focus off those things and redirected our energy towards things they do that support you?

Or better still, what if we asked ourselves –

How am I showing up for them?

What can I do to celebrate them that would make them feel loved and appreciated?

When we change our focus and turn the spotlight

on a person’s positive traits and good intentions,

and let go of the fact they do things differently to us,

things start to change.

You SEE them.

And when you acknowledge them, show gratitude and say thank you,

They begin to SEE you.

It’s the same with our children. We have so much responsibility for them, feeding them, ensuring they are clean, healthy, taken to school & extra activities, entertained- the list is never ending, but how often do we stop and thank them?

What would our life be like if we didn’t have them?

Ok, so we could be on a beach with a margarita in hand, but all jokes aside,

When was the last time you thanked your child for being them?

I know I surely don’t do it often enough. In fact my son (13.5) went through such an enormous growth spurt in the last 2 years, hormones were crazy- off the charts, I often joked at least one of us- if not both- may not come out of his teenage years alive!

This wasn’t good enough,something had to give. I changed my focus.

I started to pay attention to him, really tune in.

He is funny and smart, he tries hard to do the right thing, he has a fierceness that stands true to his beliefs, and he’s pretty fricken cool.

Once I stopped and really began paying attention to him and made more effort to thank him for the things he did for me – despite I may have had to ask 10 times initially {insert eye-roll}… When I drew attention to his positive qualities, praised him more – he calmed down, he began to be more appreciative of me, he started to TALK and SHARE and engage with me. He started to LISTEN. He started to say thank you to me.

And it did not cost a cent. There were no expensive bribes. It was just a matter of truly acknowledging him, showing him appreciation, paying attention, and revealing to him – “I see YOU”.

happy-people

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a great resource if you don’t know how your partner or child best require love to be given to them. Each of us have our own love language, our own way we like to be loved, and if you are aware of your loved ones primary love language you have the opportunity to enhance your relationships ten-fold. Follow this link to do a quick quiz to discover your love language and have your loved one do the same.

I’ve put together a loved-ones-gratitude-worksheet that I hope you find useful for creating awareness for how you can best show gratitude to your loved ones.

Much love,

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If you would like to chat with me about this post, please connect with me by leaving a comment below or saying hello at hello@casandrasmith.com.au

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