It takes courage to honour yourself first

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness. Brene Brown

There is something incredibly expansive that follows making a decision to end something.

You feel a flutter in your chest over your heartspace and in your gut.
A knowing in your heart it was the right thing simultaneous with a fear in your abdomen of, what now?

Over the years I’ve let go of serious relationships, businesses, friendships, jobs and with them identities.

Each time it has come with a struggle, a knowing deep down it was meant to be but just not being ready, too afraid of letting go, saying goodbye and walking into the unknown.

Every time I’ve made that final choice to end and move on magic is created in the space that remains.
A new opportunity I would never have noticed or considered before has come my way. Richer friendships or relationships have begun that would have been missed.

I watched the Brené Brown talk on Netflix yesterday, and found myself with tears throughout. Because I’ve dared greatly at times when it would have been easier to stay where I was.

I believe it takes courage to honour yourself first, to wear the consequence of your choice – both good and not so good.

What I have always known to be true is you have one life, and if you are drowning and miserable, and you’ve given it all of you’ve got with no improvement, it could be time to walk away.

Life is too precious and fleeting to feel that way, even at the expense sometimes of hurting someone else.

In the midst of the turmoil before the end I ask myself, when I’m 80 how will I view this situation? And with my answer I’m guided.

Dare greatly friends, jump if you must. Trust that your leap of faith will be supported. Initially it may hurt. But the beauty that will unfold for you in time will be more than worth it.

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

When you have a goal in mind, when you want more for yourself, you make the decision to create change. There will always be a voice that tries to stop you.

It might say,

What will people say?

What will people think?

No one will support me.

My friends/family will think I’m an idiot.

I haven’t got time.

I don’t know where to start.

I feel uncomfortable.

A lot of things will come up that will try to stop you changing.

You might decide to go along and start anyway.

You gain momentum, make a decision and go for it.

And something doesn’t go to plan.

You get sick.

Your kids get sick.

Your day job gets busy.

You didn’t sleep well last night.

You have a wedding/party/event to go to.

Your routine, momentum slows down or halts.

Then you’re stuck.

The voice starts again.

You’re a failure.

You said you would do that and you didn’t.

Everyone else is now further ahead of me.

If I start now they’ll know I didn’t show up and think I’m a failure.

I can’t do this.

I’m scared.

I’m embarrassed. I don’t deserve a new life. I don’t deserve success.

My mother always told me…,

Blah blah blah

And then it’s a year later.

Two years later. Five.

And you are still in the same place.

But you’re feeling worse because you started something, it didn’t work out so now you’re really stuck and afraid.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

The way to start again is just decide you want it.

Recognise the fear, the voice telling you not to for what it is – a bully.

A bully who is scared to let you shine. Who is jealous of your light.

Make small changes.

Get out of bed a little earlier.

Have one less coffee.

Make one phone call.

Spend 30 minutes planning the assignment, and do one thing of action.

Be more present today.

Recognise the negative thought and flip it to a positive one.

What would your best friend say?

Be your best friend.

Be your own cheering squad.

Light your path and each day take a step further.

There will be days you take a few steps back. That’s ok.

As long as the next day you pick yourself up and continue to move forward.

You can do this.

If you feel like you would like assistance to move past the place you are currently stuck at, please consider life coaching.

I have 1:1 coaching packages with two options. A 1 session mentor session, and a 3 month coaching package (currently on sale for 30% off). Contact me for more details.

Getting my dream job and why I quit

I had a dream job. I put out a wish and I got that job.

I had a dream job. I put out a wish and I got that job.

It was a job I had thought for a long time while building my career would be the cream.View More: http://inkandivory.pass.us/casandrasmith

I worked hard. I put in triple the hours I was being paid for and then some. Because I really wanted to do well and prove to those who’d hired me that they’d made the best choice. 

I loved what I was doing. I loved the hard work. I loved my students. I loved the money. And I was really good at it, really good.

But I didn’t love the system. 

The system didn’t care about its employees. It didn’t set people up nor support them to succeed.

It bred a fear mentality. People feared losing their jobs. And because of this it was every man for himself.

Backstabbing, undermining, office politics. It wasn’t me.

It wasn’t in line with my ethics nor values. The system was abusing me, it was breaking me. But I needed the money. It had me trapped just like everyone else.

I reached breaking point. My lease on my house was about to end. I had to move. I had my son to support. But I could no longer do that job. 

I quit. Mid-course. 

I felt so guilty leaving my students. I did everything right. Waited until they had a replacement. Finished the module we were in. Dotted all the I’s and crossed all the T’s. 

Left with my pride in place.

I have never looked back.

At my breaking point, I reached out to a friend who helped me see what I was going through wasn’t worth it. She offered my son and I stay with her until we found another house. 

What I learned is

+ When you least feel you have support, open your eyes wide- there is always someone there for you.

+ No job is worth your self-worth or sanity.

+ Trusting your gut, stepping up and saying “No, this is not for me” is deadly empowering.

+ Living your truth always wins.

+ Walking through a door when the other side is pitch black and you don’t know what’s there is frightening and exhilarating all at once.

+ When you take a risk and trust, the universe will have your back.

+ Opportunities you could never have imagined previously appear and your life will be transformed.

+ Nothing is worse than living a life you hate because you’re too afraid to change.

After I finished working there and stayed with my friend for a month.

  • The perfect home came my way. It had all the things my other home was missing for the same price.
  • I met my partner.
  • I discovered a new career in coaching and found the most supportive course (I feel) is available to study with.

This has opened my world to incredible possibilities, to new fascinating people and as a result two (almost three) new careers.

+ I’m almost half way through my counselling degree

+ A qualified Life Coach

+ A business mentor assisiting people to create alignment between their self and business

+ I share my experiences with essential oils with people to support low toxic solutions for their home and emotional health and mentor a team of gorgeous souls to expand their businesses.

Life is good. It flows with ease and I am happy.

View More: http://inkandivory.pass.us/casandrasmithThe point of sharing my story is I want you to know you don’t have to stay small.

You have choices. You could absolutely choose to stay where you are… it might be comfortable for you, as in at least you know what tomorrow brings… every day of your life.

Or you may choose to open your eyes and mind to endless possibilities and begin to live a life that sets your soul on fire, that lights you up in ways you may have never dreamed.

All of my coaching clients have been in a position where they have felt stuck, they know they desire change but just don’t know where to begin. My series assists them to work through what it is they truly would love their life to be.

I guide them from personal experience and an innate belief that we all have within in us the power to change our situations, particularly with a little support. I encourage you if you are seeking change to talk to someone. Share you dreams, it is the beginning of opening your mind. You deserve to live your best life.

Much love,

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