It takes courage to honour yourself first

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness. Brene Brown

There is something incredibly expansive that follows making a decision to end something.

You feel a flutter in your chest over your heartspace and in your gut.
A knowing in your heart it was the right thing simultaneous with a fear in your abdomen of, what now?

Over the years I’ve let go of serious relationships, businesses, friendships, jobs and with them identities.

Each time it has come with a struggle, a knowing deep down it was meant to be but just not being ready, too afraid of letting go, saying goodbye and walking into the unknown.

Every time I’ve made that final choice to end and move on magic is created in the space that remains.
A new opportunity I would never have noticed or considered before has come my way. Richer friendships or relationships have begun that would have been missed.

I watched the Brené Brown talk on Netflix yesterday, and found myself with tears throughout. Because I’ve dared greatly at times when it would have been easier to stay where I was.

I believe it takes courage to honour yourself first, to wear the consequence of your choice – both good and not so good.

What I have always known to be true is you have one life, and if you are drowning and miserable, and you’ve given it all of you’ve got with no improvement, it could be time to walk away.

Life is too precious and fleeting to feel that way, even at the expense sometimes of hurting someone else.

In the midst of the turmoil before the end I ask myself, when I’m 80 how will I view this situation? And with my answer I’m guided.

Dare greatly friends, jump if you must. Trust that your leap of faith will be supported. Initially it may hurt. But the beauty that will unfold for you in time will be more than worth it.

Is it time to upgrade your automatic thinking?

Are you aware of how significantly your negative thoughts and words are affecting your life?

When we keep saying the same thing repeatedly to ourselves (e.g. I’m broke, I’m tired, I’m overweight, I can’t afford that, I can’t do that, I can’t find a good relationship) we are sending a strong message to our subconscious mind.

Rather than read between the lines and see that what you desire is (… more money, to be healthier, to be free to buy what you wish, to do whatever, to meet your soulmate), your subconscious mind looks for opportunities to give you more of whatever you are declaring because it thinks that’s what you want, because that’s what you keep repeating.

Your mind is so incredibly powerful. Being aware of your thoughts and your words is truly potent in shifting to a prosperous and abundant mindset, and closer to achieving and gaining what it is you actually desire.

Speaking in a certain way becomes our norm, so it takes real conscious effort to switch our default thinking. When you notice yourself saying limiting words, try backing up with one of these or something similar and see how your body feels…

  • I love money and money loves me. I am abundant.
  • I love my healthy, strong sexy body. I am beautiful.
  • I am confident and limitless.
  • I love you (say to yourself in the mirror).

For every one time you say the negative phrase, say the positive affirmation 7 times.

Your body will feel lighter afterwards.

It may feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets and your mindset will switch. By taking control of your default thinking you are claiming your power to create.

Our default, unconscious thoughts for so many of us is deep conditioning that has evolved from our pains over our lives, or even some which may not actually belong to us but thoughts and limiting beliefs we have adopted from our parents or social and environmental influences.

Most of our behaviours, emotions and decisions occur from beyond our conscious awareness, from our subconscious mind. We act and feel only by using a very small percentage of our brain, our conscious mind. It therefore takes deliberate effort on our part to upgrade our thinking.

Are you committed to rebooting your thinking? Initially it may feel really overwhelming and difficult to know where to start. My coaching sessions offer you the support in a safe, non-judgmental space to explore, uncover and uncreate your negative beliefs. From there we will take your learnings and you will be empowered to set goals for your future and be supported to action them. For more information visit my coaching packages or contact me to book your free 15 minute Awakening Session.

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

When you have a goal in mind, when you want more for yourself, you make the decision to create change. There will always be a voice that tries to stop you.

It might say,

What will people say?

What will people think?

No one will support me.

My friends/family will think I’m an idiot.

I haven’t got time.

I don’t know where to start.

I feel uncomfortable.

A lot of things will come up that will try to stop you changing.

You might decide to go along and start anyway.

You gain momentum, make a decision and go for it.

And something doesn’t go to plan.

You get sick.

Your kids get sick.

Your day job gets busy.

You didn’t sleep well last night.

You have a wedding/party/event to go to.

Your routine, momentum slows down or halts.

Then you’re stuck.

The voice starts again.

You’re a failure.

You said you would do that and you didn’t.

Everyone else is now further ahead of me.

If I start now they’ll know I didn’t show up and think I’m a failure.

I can’t do this.

I’m scared.

I’m embarrassed. I don’t deserve a new life. I don’t deserve success.

My mother always told me…,

Blah blah blah

And then it’s a year later.

Two years later. Five.

And you are still in the same place.

But you’re feeling worse because you started something, it didn’t work out so now you’re really stuck and afraid.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

The way to start again is just decide you want it.

Recognise the fear, the voice telling you not to for what it is – a bully.

A bully who is scared to let you shine. Who is jealous of your light.

Make small changes.

Get out of bed a little earlier.

Have one less coffee.

Make one phone call.

Spend 30 minutes planning the assignment, and do one thing of action.

Be more present today.

Recognise the negative thought and flip it to a positive one.

What would your best friend say?

Be your best friend.

Be your own cheering squad.

Light your path and each day take a step further.

There will be days you take a few steps back. That’s ok.

As long as the next day you pick yourself up and continue to move forward.

You can do this.

If you feel like you would like assistance to move past the place you are currently stuck at, please consider life coaching.

I have 1:1 coaching packages with two options. A 1 session mentor session, and a 3 month coaching package (currently on sale for 30% off). Contact me for more details.

Do you journal?

When I was young I had a diary. Each entry always started with “Dear Diary…”

You know it wasn’t until recently this memory from my childhood resurfaced and as I thought more about it I realised the power that diary had.

As an adult I journal, not every day, sometimes not for weeks. But when I’m out of sorts, lost, losing touch with myself and my path the first thing I do is grab out my journal.

By the time I’m finished writing I’m clearer and lighter.

It’s the first tool I recommend to all my coaching clients.

The power of a diary or journal is to allow us space.
Space from our thoughts.
A safe space that no other person needs to be privy to.
Space in our minds and hearts created by getting the words that are circling around causing anxiety to be released.

Truly so powerful. And so when I think back to when I was 8 when I was gifted my first diary (with a key and all!) and the ritual I had of writing in it and those that followed over my teen years and beyond, I am grateful.

Grateful I had that space, that tool to fall on, without even knowing I was being guided back to me.

Trusting myself to sort out my own thoughts and feelings. The power of that, right?

We are our own best support system.
We must trust that, and allow the space for our own intuition and guidance to be heard.

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Expansion

It all started with a vision in Shavasana at my local Yoga class.

This guy appeared in my mind, the clearest image I’ve ever seen, as though I had seen him before and the name Tom came to me.

 

It all started with a vision in Shavasana at my local Yoga class.

This guy appeared in my mind, the clearest image I’ve ever seen, as though I had seen him before and the name Tom came to me.

My shavasanas, meditations rarely give me images, or signs, usually there is just calm and back then it was usually creating a to-do list, reminiscing about stupid crap, ready to move onto to the next thing.

The class ended, I walked out and grabbed the latest copy of Holistic Bliss magazine. When I got home I looked at the cover, there looking back at me was Tom Cronin, founder of the Stillness Project and the man hanging out in my vision. This moment was when life as I’d been floating along with changed. I knew I had to, that I would, meet him.

6 months later I saw him speak at an event, another 6 months later I was on his retreat.

In fact exactly 12 months since I had the vision, I was on the retreat.

By that stage I had enrolled with the Beautiful You Coaching Academy, completed my first year at University, change was happening fairly unconsciously.

So many things changed within me on that retreat, at the end of 2016. These things began the catalyst for my 2017 – a year of Expansion.

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us”

– Joseph Campbell

This year I completed my training with Beautiful You Coaching Academy (Read more about that here), continued my university studies for a Bachelor of Counselling and began my business with doTERRA. I felt deep hurt when one of my closest friends crossed a line very important to me, I felt the uncomfortable growing pains that comes with being in a network marketing business, and I put myself in situations that are way outside of the comfort zone of this little introverted empath.

I discovered how important boundaries are for survival. I learnt how much beauty there is in a desire to serve. I learnt that flicking your mindset has the power to change your trajectory in an instant.

I learnt I am not alone, I am loved and supported and when you think you are alone and no one gets you, all it takes is a leap of faith and the universe will throw you head first into a crowd of souls that are YOUR people.

2017 hasn’t been all roses, but being able to see the beauty in the pains, the stretching and having the ability to look behind and be grateful is priceless.

I am no longer the same person I was on 30th December, 2016. And I am just so so excited to see who I am on 30th December 2018.

Much love,

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