It takes courage to honour yourself first

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness. Brene Brown

There is something incredibly expansive that follows making a decision to end something.

You feel a flutter in your chest over your heartspace and in your gut.
A knowing in your heart it was the right thing simultaneous with a fear in your abdomen of, what now?

Over the years I’ve let go of serious relationships, businesses, friendships, jobs and with them identities.

Each time it has come with a struggle, a knowing deep down it was meant to be but just not being ready, too afraid of letting go, saying goodbye and walking into the unknown.

Every time I’ve made that final choice to end and move on magic is created in the space that remains.
A new opportunity I would never have noticed or considered before has come my way. Richer friendships or relationships have begun that would have been missed.

I watched the Brené Brown talk on Netflix yesterday, and found myself with tears throughout. Because I’ve dared greatly at times when it would have been easier to stay where I was.

I believe it takes courage to honour yourself first, to wear the consequence of your choice – both good and not so good.

What I have always known to be true is you have one life, and if you are drowning and miserable, and you’ve given it all of you’ve got with no improvement, it could be time to walk away.

Life is too precious and fleeting to feel that way, even at the expense sometimes of hurting someone else.

In the midst of the turmoil before the end I ask myself, when I’m 80 how will I view this situation? And with my answer I’m guided.

Dare greatly friends, jump if you must. Trust that your leap of faith will be supported. Initially it may hurt. But the beauty that will unfold for you in time will be more than worth it.

Is it time to upgrade your automatic thinking?

Are you aware of how significantly your negative thoughts and words are affecting your life?

When we keep saying the same thing repeatedly to ourselves (e.g. I’m broke, I’m tired, I’m overweight, I can’t afford that, I can’t do that, I can’t find a good relationship) we are sending a strong message to our subconscious mind.

Rather than read between the lines and see that what you desire is (… more money, to be healthier, to be free to buy what you wish, to do whatever, to meet your soulmate), your subconscious mind looks for opportunities to give you more of whatever you are declaring because it thinks that’s what you want, because that’s what you keep repeating.

Your mind is so incredibly powerful. Being aware of your thoughts and your words is truly potent in shifting to a prosperous and abundant mindset, and closer to achieving and gaining what it is you actually desire.

Speaking in a certain way becomes our norm, so it takes real conscious effort to switch our default thinking. When you notice yourself saying limiting words, try backing up with one of these or something similar and see how your body feels…

  • I love money and money loves me. I am abundant.
  • I love my healthy, strong sexy body. I am beautiful.
  • I am confident and limitless.
  • I love you (say to yourself in the mirror).

For every one time you say the negative phrase, say the positive affirmation 7 times.

Your body will feel lighter afterwards.

It may feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets and your mindset will switch. By taking control of your default thinking you are claiming your power to create.

Our default, unconscious thoughts for so many of us is deep conditioning that has evolved from our pains over our lives, or even some which may not actually belong to us but thoughts and limiting beliefs we have adopted from our parents or social and environmental influences.

Most of our behaviours, emotions and decisions occur from beyond our conscious awareness, from our subconscious mind. We act and feel only by using a very small percentage of our brain, our conscious mind. It therefore takes deliberate effort on our part to upgrade our thinking.

Are you committed to rebooting your thinking? Initially it may feel really overwhelming and difficult to know where to start. My coaching sessions offer you the support in a safe, non-judgmental space to explore, uncover and uncreate your negative beliefs. From there we will take your learnings and you will be empowered to set goals for your future and be supported to action them. For more information visit my coaching packages or contact me to book your free 15 minute Awakening Session.

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

When you have a goal in mind, when you want more for yourself, you make the decision to create change. There will always be a voice that tries to stop you.

It might say,

What will people say?

What will people think?

No one will support me.

My friends/family will think I’m an idiot.

I haven’t got time.

I don’t know where to start.

I feel uncomfortable.

A lot of things will come up that will try to stop you changing.

You might decide to go along and start anyway.

You gain momentum, make a decision and go for it.

And something doesn’t go to plan.

You get sick.

Your kids get sick.

Your day job gets busy.

You didn’t sleep well last night.

You have a wedding/party/event to go to.

Your routine, momentum slows down or halts.

Then you’re stuck.

The voice starts again.

You’re a failure.

You said you would do that and you didn’t.

Everyone else is now further ahead of me.

If I start now they’ll know I didn’t show up and think I’m a failure.

I can’t do this.

I’m scared.

I’m embarrassed. I don’t deserve a new life. I don’t deserve success.

My mother always told me…,

Blah blah blah

And then it’s a year later.

Two years later. Five.

And you are still in the same place.

But you’re feeling worse because you started something, it didn’t work out so now you’re really stuck and afraid.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

The way to start again is just decide you want it.

Recognise the fear, the voice telling you not to for what it is – a bully.

A bully who is scared to let you shine. Who is jealous of your light.

Make small changes.

Get out of bed a little earlier.

Have one less coffee.

Make one phone call.

Spend 30 minutes planning the assignment, and do one thing of action.

Be more present today.

Recognise the negative thought and flip it to a positive one.

What would your best friend say?

Be your best friend.

Be your own cheering squad.

Light your path and each day take a step further.

There will be days you take a few steps back. That’s ok.

As long as the next day you pick yourself up and continue to move forward.

You can do this.

If you feel like you would like assistance to move past the place you are currently stuck at, please consider life coaching.

I have 1:1 coaching packages with two options. A 1 session mentor session, and a 3 month coaching package (currently on sale for 30% off). Contact me for more details.

Do you journal?

When I was young I had a diary. Each entry always started with “Dear Diary…”

You know it wasn’t until recently this memory from my childhood resurfaced and as I thought more about it I realised the power that diary had.

As an adult I journal, not every day, sometimes not for weeks. But when I’m out of sorts, lost, losing touch with myself and my path the first thing I do is grab out my journal.

By the time I’m finished writing I’m clearer and lighter.

It’s the first tool I recommend to all my coaching clients.

The power of a diary or journal is to allow us space.
Space from our thoughts.
A safe space that no other person needs to be privy to.
Space in our minds and hearts created by getting the words that are circling around causing anxiety to be released.

Truly so powerful. And so when I think back to when I was 8 when I was gifted my first diary (with a key and all!) and the ritual I had of writing in it and those that followed over my teen years and beyond, I am grateful.

Grateful I had that space, that tool to fall on, without even knowing I was being guided back to me.

Trusting myself to sort out my own thoughts and feelings. The power of that, right?

We are our own best support system.
We must trust that, and allow the space for our own intuition and guidance to be heard.

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Using Essential Oils for Emotional Support

Essential oils are a powerful tool for emotional support. Aroma has long been revered for its ability to bring forth memories, both positive and negative, therefore using essential oils for emotional support must be approached with care.

We all have unresolved feelings of hurt from past experiences. It is by bringing them to the surface we can be offered the opportunity to resolve them, let go and move forward with our lives. Essential oils set the foundation for us to work with our emotions, from there it is up to us to do the personal development – the emotional and mental work required, to move past the issues.

According to Enlighten Healing in their book Emotions & Essential Oils: A Modern Resource for Healing, there are five stages of healing. Essential oils may be used to support this process. An example used is that as we regain our physical health, we may then begin to heal our emotional health and so on through the five stages.

The Five Stages are:

  1. Essential oils assist in healing the physical body.
  2. Essential oils assist in healing the heart.
  3. Essential oils assist in releasing limiting beliefs.
  4. Essential oils increase spiritual awareness and connection.
  5. Essential oils inspire the fulfillment of our life’s purpose.

– Enlighten Healing, Emotions & Essential Oils: A Modern Resource for Healing (Fall 2016 ed.)

I personally have used essential oils to support my emotional state in many situations. I first began using essential oils (Bergamot and Ylang Ylang) when weaning myself off antidepressants.

I have used blends that include oils such as Bergamot, Juniper Berry, Myrrh, Arborvitae, Thyme and other oils to support me in moments of feeling deep heartbreak, feeling let down, abandoned and wronged.

I also use essential oils to uplift me. Citrus oils are perfect for that with some of my favourite being Wild Orange, Lemon and Tangerine.

HOW TO PURCHASE doTERRA ESSENTIAL OILS

The doTERRA Emotional Aromatherapy range and the Mood Management kit are some of my favourite oil blends for managing emotions. They are carefully selected blends designed to support particular emotions such as, doTERRA Cheer, doTERRA Forgive, doTERRA Console, doTERRA Balance, doTERRA Citrus Bliss, doTERRA Elevation and doTERRA Serenity, just to name a few. What I love about these blends is it takes the thinking out of what oils you are going to use to support a particular emotion.

However, more often I tend to work with essential oils quite intuitively. I believe once you start using essential oils, particularly high purity, and high vibrational oils such as doTERRA essential oils our intuition becomes heightened and our bodies/minds ‘just know’ which oils are required at any given time.

I often will choose a few oils from my collection to use in my diffuser and after I will look up the emotional aspects and meanings in my Enlighten Healing book and be blown away by the accuracy of the oils I have chosen for what I am experiencing at that time.

How to use essential oils for emotional support

Essential oils are most effectively used for supporting emotions by using aromatically and topically.

Aromatically

View More: http://inkandivory.pass.us/casandrasmithUsing a diffuser is an effective way to create a positive atmosphere in your home that supports the whole household by dispersing the oils into the air.

By using calming oils, such as lavender, you can create a relaxing and soothing environment, perfect when anxious feelings are rising or to prepare to wind down for rest or sleep. Using uplifting oils, such as a combination of peppermint and wild orange is great to elevate and motivate you.

Inhaling essential oils either directly from the bottle or applying a drop or two to your palms, rubbing together and inhaling from cupped hands is a fast way to affect your mood. This method very quickly impacts the olfactory system and reaches the brain particularly the amygdala and limbic areas where emotions and memories are stored.

Topically

Essential oils are potent, particularly pure, high quality oils from doTERRA and should be treated with respect. It is therefore important to always protect the skin from possible sensitivity by diluting with a carrier oil. I prefer fractionated coconut oil for its ability to absorb easily into the skin without leaving a residue and also as it has almost no aroma.

To use essential oils topically you may create an aromatic dressing by putting a few drops of your chosen essential oil in a dressing bowl with a carrier oil (see dilution ratios below) and massaging the blend over your body.

Making your own rollerball blend is an effective way to use essential oils topically and making your blend last for longer. Add the chosen essential oils to the bottle, top with the carrier oil and you’re ready to go. Making your own ‘purefume’ is a perfect alternative to using synthetic perfumes and can be taken with you wherever you go to be reapplied every few hours.

A general rule of dilution

Adults: 5 drops (in total) essential oil to 10ml carrier oil

Children (half adult ratio): 3 drops (in total) essential oils to 10ml carrier oil

Babies: 1 drop essential oil to 10ml carrier oil
There are many essential oils inappropriate to use with babies, please diligently do your research before applying essential oils topically to babies.

If you are sensitive or using potent oils like oregano, clove or cinnamon you may need to dilute further. Avoid using essential oils in your eyes, nasal cavity, and in your ears. If you have a reaction or to an oil or the oil blend is too strong, dilute with carrier oil or milk to the area, not water.

Essential oils best known for the emotional support they offer

10 Essential Oils for Emotional support infographic

PURCHASE doTERRA ESSENTIAL OILS

Learn more about essential oils via my blog post

Attend one of my Australian Essential Oil Classes

Join my team and start earning yourself a residual income today
Book a free chat with me now!

Getting my dream job and why I quit

I had a dream job. I put out a wish and I got that job.

I had a dream job. I put out a wish and I got that job.

It was a job I had thought for a long time while building my career would be the cream.View More: http://inkandivory.pass.us/casandrasmith

I worked hard. I put in triple the hours I was being paid for and then some. Because I really wanted to do well and prove to those who’d hired me that they’d made the best choice. 

I loved what I was doing. I loved the hard work. I loved my students. I loved the money. And I was really good at it, really good.

But I didn’t love the system. 

The system didn’t care about its employees. It didn’t set people up nor support them to succeed.

It bred a fear mentality. People feared losing their jobs. And because of this it was every man for himself.

Backstabbing, undermining, office politics. It wasn’t me.

It wasn’t in line with my ethics nor values. The system was abusing me, it was breaking me. But I needed the money. It had me trapped just like everyone else.

I reached breaking point. My lease on my house was about to end. I had to move. I had my son to support. But I could no longer do that job. 

I quit. Mid-course. 

I felt so guilty leaving my students. I did everything right. Waited until they had a replacement. Finished the module we were in. Dotted all the I’s and crossed all the T’s. 

Left with my pride in place.

I have never looked back.

At my breaking point, I reached out to a friend who helped me see what I was going through wasn’t worth it. She offered my son and I stay with her until we found another house. 

What I learned is

+ When you least feel you have support, open your eyes wide- there is always someone there for you.

+ No job is worth your self-worth or sanity.

+ Trusting your gut, stepping up and saying “No, this is not for me” is deadly empowering.

+ Living your truth always wins.

+ Walking through a door when the other side is pitch black and you don’t know what’s there is frightening and exhilarating all at once.

+ When you take a risk and trust, the universe will have your back.

+ Opportunities you could never have imagined previously appear and your life will be transformed.

+ Nothing is worse than living a life you hate because you’re too afraid to change.

After I finished working there and stayed with my friend for a month.

  • The perfect home came my way. It had all the things my other home was missing for the same price.
  • I met my partner.
  • I discovered a new career in coaching and found the most supportive course (I feel) is available to study with.

This has opened my world to incredible possibilities, to new fascinating people and as a result two (almost three) new careers.

+ I’m almost half way through my counselling degree

+ A qualified Life Coach

+ A business mentor assisiting people to create alignment between their self and business

+ I share my experiences with essential oils with people to support low toxic solutions for their home and emotional health and mentor a team of gorgeous souls to expand their businesses.

Life is good. It flows with ease and I am happy.

View More: http://inkandivory.pass.us/casandrasmithThe point of sharing my story is I want you to know you don’t have to stay small.

You have choices. You could absolutely choose to stay where you are… it might be comfortable for you, as in at least you know what tomorrow brings… every day of your life.

Or you may choose to open your eyes and mind to endless possibilities and begin to live a life that sets your soul on fire, that lights you up in ways you may have never dreamed.

All of my coaching clients have been in a position where they have felt stuck, they know they desire change but just don’t know where to begin. My series assists them to work through what it is they truly would love their life to be.

I guide them from personal experience and an innate belief that we all have within in us the power to change our situations, particularly with a little support. I encourage you if you are seeking change to talk to someone. Share you dreams, it is the beginning of opening your mind. You deserve to live your best life.

Much love,

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My break-up with alcohol

Two years ago I had a fall out with alcohol. It was one of those break ups you have like the one with your first love that is painful, on-again off-again.

I’d just broken up with my fiancée two weeks earlier. I was weaning myself off anti-depressants, it was my first night out partying with friends. I lost control.

For the record- large amounts of alcohol and anti depressants don’t mix. They turn you into a monster.

Meryl Streep2

It didn’t end there either, my new found freedom led to a year of partying, letting off steam, ‘enjoying’ the freedom that comes from being a single 35 year old woman. Alcohol was the socially expected norm.

Until I realised my morning-after sorrow, regret, severe anxiety that could last for days was a result of the alcohol beating up my sensitive system. I was hopeless, unproductive, lethargic- I was a mess and I was hiding this from the world.

So I started to pull back. It took almost another year though to work through the mind-fuck that goes with beginning to choose not to drink.

It would seem everyone drinks and if you don’t, it can become an issue.

“Let’s catch up for a drink” (it’s never ‘a’ drink). Sunday afternoons = drinks, Lunch = ‘a’ wine. And when you decide you don’t want to drink alcohol people don’t know what to do with you.

If you’re choosing not to drink alcohol you better have a good excuse why.

I’ve said “no more”, and a friend will arrive back at the table with a drink for me regardless. I’ve said “Let’s catch up for a coffee” the response is “Let’s go to ‘X Bar for Happy Hour”. So when I started saying no enough the invites to hang out at all slowed until they pretty much stopped.

What I’ve learned is when you no longer want to drink alcohol your friends don’t know what to do with you.

I had this realisation on the back-end of being at an incredible retreat at the end of last year– People throw the word intoxication around like it’s nothing, like it’s just a state of beingjust like being happy, or sad is a state of being. Getting drunk or wasted has become a goal and is celebrated.

As a society we have become blasé to the meaning of intoxication.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

in·tox·i·ca·tion

: an abnormal state that is essentially a poisoning

: the condition of being drunk : inebriation

Let’s cover that again: an abnormal state that is essentially a poisoning.

Getting fucked up means far more than an idle term to describe a good time… it means you are filling your body with toxins so severely that your body cannot function well enough to be able to perform its’ basic duties e.g. speak properly, maintain clear thoughts and judgements, walk properly, operate a vehicle etc. etc.

And this is what equates to a good time?

Even more so this is what we teach our children being social and having a good time is all about.

Since this awakening, change in perspective- call it what you will… around the consumption of alcohol I’ve had, so many people have shared their alcohol stories with me.

It’s ruining relationships. It’s ruining peoples’ lives.
It’s destroying peoples’ bodies. It’s breaking up families.

Men are ostracised horrendously within social groups for not drinking. They are called all sorts of degrading and humiliating names that more often than not they drink to avoid the ‘shame’. Alcoholics are forced to explain their disease- which is no one’s business- to get people to back off- and then the stigma starts with that. Even if your reason is you are driving people will still say, “One won’t hurt..”.

I’m not sure why this is. Maybe deep down we all know drinking to excess is not good for us, so when one person bucks the trend it reminds us and we feel a little guilty? So to make the guilt go away we pressure (all in jest) the abstainee to get involved…?

Muhammad Ali

With such a growing awareness around health and exercise, about the food we put into our bodies, it just floors me the amount of ‘healthy’ people that are still choosing to poison their bodies by overindulging with alcohol.

At what point will we wake up to it’s true dangers and stop thinking we don’t have a problem?

Since I’ve pulled back from drinking I’ve been clearer, focussed and aware. I’m achieving things I never thought possible and opportunities are showing up for me in ways that blow my mind every day. I’m the happiest I have ever been.

Just some food for thought….

Much love,

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In light of all this I’ll be honest, on the very very rare occasion these days I may have a drink, maybe two – what I find though is my body can’t cope, and I really just can’t do it to myself anymore than that any more.