Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

When you have a goal in mind, when you want more for yourself, you make the decision to create change. There will always be a voice that tries to stop you.

It might say,

What will people say?

What will people think?

No one will support me.

My friends/family will think I’m an idiot.

I haven’t got time.

I don’t know where to start.

I feel uncomfortable.

A lot of things will come up that will try to stop you changing.

You might decide to go along and start anyway.

You gain momentum, make a decision and go for it.

And something doesn’t go to plan.

You get sick.

Your kids get sick.

Your day job gets busy.

You didn’t sleep well last night.

You have a wedding/party/event to go to.

Your routine, momentum slows down or halts.

Then you’re stuck.

The voice starts again.

You’re a failure.

You said you would do that and you didn’t.

Everyone else is now further ahead of me.

If I start now they’ll know I didn’t show up and think I’m a failure.

I can’t do this.

I’m scared.

I’m embarrassed. I don’t deserve a new life. I don’t deserve success.

My mother always told me…,

Blah blah blah

And then it’s a year later.

Two years later. Five.

And you are still in the same place.

But you’re feeling worse because you started something, it didn’t work out so now you’re really stuck and afraid.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

The way to start again is just decide you want it.

Recognise the fear, the voice telling you not to for what it is – a bully.

A bully who is scared to let you shine. Who is jealous of your light.

Make small changes.

Get out of bed a little earlier.

Have one less coffee.

Make one phone call.

Spend 30 minutes planning the assignment, and do one thing of action.

Be more present today.

Recognise the negative thought and flip it to a positive one.

What would your best friend say?

Be your best friend.

Be your own cheering squad.

Light your path and each day take a step further.

There will be days you take a few steps back. That’s ok.

As long as the next day you pick yourself up and continue to move forward.

You can do this.

If you feel like you would like assistance to move past the place you are currently stuck at, please consider life coaching.

I have 1:1 coaching packages with two options. A 1 session mentor session, and a 3 month coaching package (currently on sale for 30% off). Contact me for more details.

Do you journal?

When I was young I had a diary. Each entry always started with “Dear Diary…”

You know it wasn’t until recently this memory from my childhood resurfaced and as I thought more about it I realised the power that diary had.

As an adult I journal, not every day, sometimes not for weeks. But when I’m out of sorts, lost, losing touch with myself and my path the first thing I do is grab out my journal.

By the time I’m finished writing I’m clearer and lighter.

It’s the first tool I recommend to all my coaching clients.

The power of a diary or journal is to allow us space.
Space from our thoughts.
A safe space that no other person needs to be privy to.
Space in our minds and hearts created by getting the words that are circling around causing anxiety to be released.

Truly so powerful. And so when I think back to when I was 8 when I was gifted my first diary (with a key and all!) and the ritual I had of writing in it and those that followed over my teen years and beyond, I am grateful.

Grateful I had that space, that tool to fall on, without even knowing I was being guided back to me.

Trusting myself to sort out my own thoughts and feelings. The power of that, right?

We are our own best support system.
We must trust that, and allow the space for our own intuition and guidance to be heard.

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Why I love my collaborative business

I have been in business in one form or another for most of my adult life. I love it. I love being the captain of my own ship, so to speak.

When I owned by beauty and nail business, it was all on me. Everything implemented was on me. Answering to massive overheads and the stress that can at times come with staff, having to be available at set hours, many times missing out on school events and times when my son was sick having the stress of knowing if I didn’t go to work I might not be able to meet all the financial requirements I had for the business, let alone rescheduling clients and then having to work overtime to fit them back in. It was exhausting!!

That mainstream model of business is what we are often taught to believe is the only way to operate. Network marketing has been given a stigma due to unethical companies and practises. Having now experienced both models, I can whole-heartedly, hand on my heart say network marketing is the way forward. It is supportive, community oriented and at the end of the day it is something we all do without even realising it.

When I purchase a product I really love and have outstanding results from, or receive great service from a business, I tell everyone I know. I recommend it over and over.

This is what network marketing is. The bonus is we receive financial compensation for our recommendation – ongoing. We aren’t out to promote a product just for the pure aim of making a dollar – or at least I definitely am not.

Making money is an important way of life and nothing to be ashamed of, however I only recommend my products to people when I see they have a genuine need for it and I feel it may benefit them. I would only ever align myself with a product and company I believe in, that I believe offers incredible results, and I will only recommend those products and company based on that premise, not just to my friends and family, but to everyone.

It has been through building my network marketing business with dōTERRA that I have found a beautiful community of like-minded people to grow with and support each other on our wellness journeys.

A tribe of people who want to be a part of something bigger, who believe together we rise.

A community that believes in being empowered to rock the status quo and seek natural and low toxin solutions for the health and wellbeing of ourselves and our families.

My business is comprised of 95% wholesale customers of whom I support and educate, and a small handful of people building their own business whom I lead and mentor.

I have discovered earning an income can be fun, but also the support of a residual income in times when I would not have been able to go to a day job is priceless.

  • I don’t have the same stresses I mentioned before that I had in my past business.
  • My overheads each month are incredibly low.
  • My time is flexible and fits easily around my family and other commitments.
  • I work from home.
  • The residual income offers support for me to pursue my other passions with ease.
  • Many of the systems and strategies have already been put together for me, and have been tried and tested for success.
  • The network marketing model is one that offers endless opportunities other industries just do not and can not offer.

Just like anything, it may not be for everyone.

You must be dedicated, prepared to do the work required including a commitment to personal development, be coachable, a good communicator, a team player, hold a positive and abundant mindset, be goal-oriented and self-motivated.

My team are currently from all over Australia, my wider team from all over the world. We meet in person a few times a year, and regularly via video online, over the phone and in our private groups. We are from all walks of life – parents, nurses, counsellors, life coaches, holistic therapists, corporate, and more – all lifting and supporting each other to reach our goals individually and collectively. I am eternally grateful this business has connected me with them all, they are a beautiful group of people.

If this has peaked your interest and you would like to learn more check out this page or contact me for an obligation free chat, we always have room for you in our team.

Eric Worre Interviews Sir Richard Branson on Network Marketing

Tony Robbins on Network Marketing

Stepping out despite social anxiety

I’ve felt awkward in almost all situations I’ve been in my whole life. Like I don’t fit in, like I’m just not quite the same as the people I’m with, and that because of that I feel like people don’t quite like me.

It’s a feeling possibly best described as misfiring, as in I’m present but that no one quite SEES ME. 

This has held me back in so many ways.

I’ve used drugs and alcohol at different stages of my life to mask the uncomfortableness and give me some sort of courage, alter ego even.

I’ve stayed in terrible relationships for far too long for fear of being alone, until staying is just too unbearable. 

I’ve hidden behind my son at many, many functions, to not be exposed.

I’ve used my job as a barrier between me and my client to avoid exposing my insecurities. 

I’ve cancelled going to many events last minute because the anxiety of going was too much to bare. 

Going to an event alone means summoning courage from deep down, going means knowing deep within my soul that I have to be there, and then I feel awkward as hell.

Most people probably don’t know any of this about me. Just like many people who live with social anxiety, I’ve become pretty good at being aloof, faking it so you can’t see the anxiousness under my facade. 

Stepping out into the social media world and building an online business is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I have nothing to hide behind (ok well there’s my computer & product) but what this platform requires of me is to show you ME.

Authenticity, integrity, truth, honesty, being real are traits I hold of most importance and so I felt to share this with you so you may see a bit of what’s under my posts, and I hope it can give some of you who feel this too the chance to exhale and know you are not alone.

The above is a post I shared to my social media channels yesterday. The responses I have received have been beautiful. So many women, some I have known personally, some I do not know have shared they also feel the same way.

IMG_6849I read a quote a friend shared on Instagram recently by Glennon Doyle which I felt was a beautiful reminder of how cliquey women can be, but it made me think it’s not usually about exclusion which our default may have us believe, but more I feel it is about the fear of ourselves stepping out of our comfort zone to reach to someone we don’t know.

Perhaps there is an awe, an intimidation even, of seeing a woman attending an event alone that we feel she is strong and confident and not a match for us while we are attempting to hold our mask firmly so it may not slip and show how fragile we really are underneath.

I’ve been that woman at an event alone, trying to blend and not be too obviously on my own. What I’ve noticed in those situations is often the lack of eye contact, or the looks up and down, or the small gesture of a smile as they turn away. As an introvert, it has taken all my strength at times to not just walk out, but instead to take a deep breath in and out, readjust my mask of confidence and stand strong.

Approaching a group or another person who is alone can summon up a lot of courage, there’s a whole lot of inner conversation going on – a battle between my mind of reason and my mind of fear. It is sheer determination and will that sees reason win… mostly.

As I’ve gotten older and the personal development study I have soaked in has grown, I have learned that other people’s reactions to you are a direct indication of where they are at with themselves, and that often – if we allow ourselves to go there – can be a mirror of how WE feel about ourselves. As we begin to love ourselves as our best friend and really do the work to dispel the negative thoughts and chatter going on in our minds these situations lessen, our confidence grows, or at least our thoughts no longer have the power to control us and hold us back.

So, and this is advice I am giving myself… do that thing you want to do, even if it means going alone; say hello to the woman on her own and include her in your circle – at any given moment you could be her; consciously and actively switch the language you are using with yourself to be what you would say to your best friend; and most importantly love yourself – for you are unique, you are beautiful, and you are not alone.

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10 books I recommend for a self confidence boost:

  • Mastering Your Mean Girl, Melissa Ambrosini
  • You Do You, Sarah Knight
  • The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
  • Daring Greatly, Brené Brown
  • Rise Sister Rise, Rebecca Campbell
  • A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson
  • You are Enough, Cassie Mendoza-Jones
  • Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert
  • Judgment Detox, Gabrielle Bernstein
  • Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsh

Choosing to Focus on the Good

There have been so many posts on social media the last few days about what a terrible year 2016 was and how 2017 is going to be THE year for new beginnings.

Numerology tells us yes, 2017 is the first year of a 9 year cycle & therefore we have the cosmos cheering us on to start fresh.

However this gripe about ‘the worst year ever’ is something I’ve read or heard almost every year at the end of the year for many years now!

“When you make a choice, you change your future.” Deepak Chopra

It’s had me pondering… Why do we remember and/or focus on the bad and not savour, celebrate & remember our highs, our achievements, our good times?

Without the yin there is no yang,

Without the light there is no shade,

Without the hard times we wouldn’t be pushed to try harder to succeed, to make things better, to be better, and to want more.

One of my favourite authors Paulo Coelho shared this story on Facebook today…

My wife and I were reflecting on the past year, whilst dining at a restaurant.

I started to complain about something that hadn’t happened the way I wanted it to.

My wife focused her attention on a Christmas tree that someone put there. I thought that she wasn’t interested in the conversation, so I changed the subject:

“This tree has a beautiful illumination”, I said.                              

“Yes, but if you look carefully you can see one burnt light among dozens. It seems to me that instead of thinking of this year as dozens of enlightened blessings, you chose to look at the one light that did not glow”.

How often we do that without realising…

Being on the rollercoaster of life and trusting the ebb & flow- the journey- isn’t always easy. Trust me I’ve been on that ride many times!

Over the years though I’ve collected a little group of tools I’ve put in my go-to box to help lift me back up.

When I’m going through a rough time or I’m in a bit of a rut one of the tools I go to is my Gratitude Journal. I like to keep a daily journal of 5-10 things I’m grateful for, & as woo woo as it sounds… it really does work!

Having a regular gratitude ritual is a scientifically proven method of enhancing a person’s wellbeing & frame of mind. Making the good things in our life our focus allows & attracts more of the good to enter our life.

No matter how small: clean running water, a bright sunny day, food to eat, rain to nourish & replenish nature, a stranger smiling at you in the street.

This great video by Kristina Kuzmic goes into this a little more….

I try to remind myself when I become aware that I’m slipping into a ‘poor me’ state that there is always someone going through worse than me.

In a world where we are constantly shown real life stories through the media, I am forever in awe of those who suffer hard, really have been dealt the rough card, & despite (or in spite of) foster a positive, inspiring attitude to life & go on to achieve incredible things.

We all have that potential… it’s just about choosing your mindset.

Much love,

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“Where the mind goes, the man follows.” Joyce Meyer

If you would like to chat with me about this post, please connect with me by leaving a comment below or saying hello at hello@casandrasmith.com.au

More about Gratitude Journals: